Question“I have been working in a large organization for five years now. Over the last six months, people have started to smirk when they come into contact with me and generally don't seem to be too happy to be seen with me. I have since discovered that somebody has been spreading rumors about me; these rumors have reached all levels, from grassroots to senior management.
“The rumors started with the idea that I have a collection of pornography and buy it through mail order.” I have only recently found this out by overhearing somebody. This rumor has now escalated, and now it is being said that I am gay and using male prostitutes.
“First, these rumors are not true in any way at all. Second, I do not know who is spreading these rumors, though I have my suspicions.
“With this latest piece of gossip, I feel I must act very quickly. What should I do? I see myself as having two options. First, inform my boss of what is going on and insist he takes some kind of action. Second, find the person who is saying this and hit them to show others that I won’t tolerate such defamation of my character.
“I'd be happy if you could give me some help with this.”
—This TechRepublic member’s name has been withheld to protect his identity
Answer
Obviously, my immediate advice to you is to not hit anybody. As cathartic as that might seem from your current vantage point, it won’t solve your problem and, ultimately, it would do more to harm your reputation than any hallway gossip could. It also would get you fired and most likely arrested.
My next piece of advice—which under less dramatic circumstances I would hesitate to give—is to not even bother talking to your boss about this right now and to go straight to your company’s HR department with your complaint. (Since you say you work at a large company, I’ll assume formal channels for logging complaints are available to you.) I usually suggest that an employee bring any problem directly to his boss—or to affected peers, if appropriate—but from your letter it seems that this situation has gone on long enough that it needs a third party to diffuse it quickly. And, even though I’ll take your comment about hitting someone as being tongue-in-cheek, you sound riled up enough to perhaps act a little rashly. Again, a calming perspective seems to be in order.
The situation you describe raises some interesting points about what’s actually considered workplace harassment. I’ll get to those in a bit, but to all the managers out there who are reading this column, I just want to make this quick point:
This is how stupid, hurtful, and wasteful office gossip can get if it goes unchecked.
A few months ago I took a little heat from some readers (that’s fine, I’m used to it) when I suggested that managers should not only shun office gossip, but act to quash it when it begins circulating. Orwellian or not, I stand by my contention that even seemingly innocent gossip about coworkers is at best a foolish waste of time and, as in the situation described here, a potential source of liability for both managers and the company.
Of course, I can’t arbitrate the conflict described in this member’s letter without more facts—again, the only specific advice I offer is that the writer see HR immediately. After all, there’s always the possibility the letter-writer overheard a conversation about somebody else, or is otherwise grossly mistaken about what’s really going on. (Such cultures of suspicion and overreaction are natural byproducts of—you guessed it—rampant office gossip.)
But let’s assume for the purposes of illustration that the letter-writer has more or less hit the nail on the head: Coworkers are in fact gossiping about his sexual lifestyle, and have gone so far as to insinuate criminal conduct on his part (unless he lives in certain areas of Nevada or a country outside the U.S. where licensed prostitution is legal). And it’s not just among his peers; the rumors have made it all the way to senior management.
What are the liabilities facing the company?
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